


Headless, Not Heartless

by LoveMe_Please



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Humphrey deserves more love, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:00:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28322730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveMe_Please/pseuds/LoveMe_Please
Summary: Humphrey had a lot in his life, but he felt about as whole as he is now in his death. Alison finally sits down and has a chat with him.
Relationships: Alison & Humphrey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 47





	Headless, Not Heartless

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to my mate on Tumblr for proofreading this! (I don't even know if they're on ao3, but if they are and somehow read this, hi!!). Both him and I are suckers for found family, and we love how Ghosts has a great Found Family dynamic. I hope to write a different fic about it in the future.
> 
> Some of y'all seem to forget that the Tudor era comes before the 17th century, and IT SHOWS.

  
Alison Cooper was as normal as every other English woman. She just also happened to own a mansion with acres of land and could see ghosts of the long, and not so long, dead. They never failed to surprise her, but she'd grown to live with them, and saw them as her family, in most cases. 

Most of them had their days, and she couldn't blame them. Things like death days and (in a lot of cases) a traumatic experience that surrounded those death days, as well as just a normal mental health day where one of the ghosts wouldn't appear for the day. Or two. Or six. 

She thought she understood most of the ghosts, what made them tick, what got them excited, their general day to day moods, except for one ghost. She never really had the chance to talk to him, because it was unnerving - to say the least - to see him most of the time. 

That was, of course, Humphrey. 

His headless state still kind of freaked Alison out, even after she'd gotten used to everyone else. He'd sometimes scare her, not in a malicious way or for fun like Robin, but just by his presence. 

He always ended up in the weirdest places, Alison didn't understand how, and neither did the other ghosts apparently. She'd once found him on top of the library bookshelf and had to call in Pat to get him down. 

Sometimes, _he_ didn't even know how he'd gotten into the situations. He thought some of the ghosts moved him to mess with him, which Alison could believe. She had told them not to mess with Humphrey's head once, but he ended up in crazy places still. 

Today though, she found him in her room, on her vanity, and she finally let out the question that had been eating away at her since she'd first seen him. 

"How did you die?" It came out before she could stop it, and she instantly backtracked. "Sorry! Shouldn't have asked that! And, it's kinda obvious, right? You were beheaded! I kinda meant what crime you committed, but that is probably really insensitive, so, sorry..." 

"No, no, it's fine!" He smiled at her and Alison was silently glad that he was one of the calmer ghosts of the household. "I, uh, never really commit a crime, per say. Not a proper beheading, see." 

"It wasn't?" Alison asked, a little surprised. 

"No, more of an assassination." He answered, looking down (or to the side, but it made him look like he was looking down). 

"Oh my god, Humphrey, I'm so sorry! I should never have asked." Alison quickly tried to rectify, sitting down in front of him. 

"Please Alison, I said it's fine, and it is! I've had five hundred years to mull it over and come to terms with it, and I don't have much to think about anyway. Happened in my mid afternoon nap." He explained, as if it were perfectly normal. "It explains why I wasn't in execution robes."

"Oh." Alison said dumbly, blinking at the head. "That must have been weird. Going to sleep, then waking up with your body wondering off to who knows where." 

"Yeah, bit off a shock, especially seeing Robin for the first time, and the Black Death ghosts." He chuckled a bit with a far off look in his eyes at the memories. "Oh, and there were a few other ghosts as well, but they've long since been sucked off." 

Alison pinched her nose, but didn't try and correct him. The ghosts didn't really listen to her when it came to language, they all stuck to the speaking that had come naturally to them while alive, rarely picking up new things after their death. 

"What were they like?" She asked instead. She hadn't heard of any past ghosts other than Annie, and it would be interesting to hear about some others. 

"Oh, well their are several notable ones that have come and gone before you came. There was Harold, who apparently led an army, had his arm ripped off and died off blood loss long before either I or the house came here, I think he was from the 13th century... And Lucinda! Yeah, she was blinded then murdered by her own mother a bit before my house got ripped down and Mary's village arrived, she ghosted here for fifty odd years." He listed off, Alison listening with increasing curiosity. 

"Wait, your house got ripped down? You never _lived_ in Button House?" 

"Oh, no, my house had acres more land than what we have now! Then the village came along and it all got smaller, and then after the villagers died out or left for the industrial revolution, the land was bought and this massive house was built and is now known as Button House! Robin wasn't lying when he said he's seen houses come and go." He sighed, suddenly becoming quieter. 

"I don't miss it. My house. It was never a home to me, and I think this one's cozier than it ever was. Maybe it's because of the company you have that never leave, maybe it's because it's always louder with them around than the quiet rooms before, but I've always preferred this house. I don't think that this many alive people have been into Button House since world war two, but I remember the village was always cramped and full of whispers, and in a massive contrast, there was my house, that was always cold and silent. Being a ghost in this house is pleasant." He offered a small smile. 

"Humphrey..." Alison started, not really knowing how to finish. "Does it not get tiring though? Losing your body all the time?"

"Oh, yeah, always a bloody pain." Humphrey laughed, rolling his eyes. "It's like he's got a mind of his own! Which is weird, because I'm the brains!"

Alison found herself laughing along with him as well, appreciating the joke. Humphrey probably had learnt a lot since he died, with him being in convenient places to eavesdrop half the time.

"You seem completely detached from him, literally and figuratively." Alison hummed, holding her head in her hands as she put her elbows on the table. "Why don't you ask the others to bring you together more often? It's easier when you're your full self, right? I would help, if I could."

"At the start, they did." Humphrey explained, "But, I think it just became a pain because I fell off so much and my body is a bumbling idiot without me."

"Humphrey, you could never be a pain!" Alison cried sharply, before adding in a quieter tone, "Between you and me, you're my favourite."

She told every ghost this, carrying varying levels of truth with each one.

"Thanks Alison, but you haven't had to deal with me for four hundred and seventy something years." Humphrey sighed. "And even the recent ones, like Pat, only kept it up for a year or two before they realised it was pointless."

A quiet 'eep!' was heard from the desk as Alison's hands slammed down, glaring at Humphrey like he'd just dissed her mum. She pointed an accusing finger at Humphrey, pursing her lips together.

"Don't ever say that again. A good, old-fashioned, one whole Humphrey is not pointless! So what if your head falls off? You still deserve to be whole as much as possible." She pouted angrily to a slightly scared Humphrey, and a petrified Mike who was slowly backing out of the door as soon as he had walked in.

"Alison, really, I do thank you, but I've stopped asking at this point."

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why did you stop asking them?" Alison asked with a raised bow.

"Well, I saw it as pointless too. They ignore me most times--"

"Which they shouldn't be doing!" Alison yelled, throwing her hands up in the air in a frustrated gesture.

"Well--" Humphrey tried to defend, but was interrupted again.

"No, I don't wanna hear it." Alison cut in, lowering her hands to the vanity, only slightly more calm than before. "You are probably the second worse to pull excuses to cover for people, after Kitty, and god knows that's for a therapist and a half to deal with. But, these guys should be your family! Sure, families are annoying as hell, but they are always there for you, always pulling their weight. You shouldn't be being left out like this."

"Jolly right." The Captain said, walking through the slightly agape door, making Alison and Humphrey jump. 

"Have you been listening to our conversation?" Alison asked in a stern tone that made even the most steely ghosts cower in her presence. 

"Well, I, _may_ have been... But--" The Captain was cut off by Alison skirting her way around him and pulling open the door to reveal all the ghosts standing there as well. 

"How long have you been standing here?" She asked with a pointed look at all of them. 

They all began to gabble over each other before Alison raised her hand, watching them promptly fall silent. She looked over the offending ghosts, finally pointing at Kitty. 

"Well, I got here when there was a big crash that sounded like a table falling over." Kitty explained, Alison guessing that was when she slammed her hands on the vanity. "So did basically everyone else, other than Mary and Thomas." 

"Yes, I was here since I heards you talking 'bout Lucinda. She was a good one. Couldn't see me, but says I never smelt _that_ bad." Mary grinned. 

"And I've been here since you started talking about Mary's village." Thomas concluded with a small smile. 

"Right." Alison rubbed at her eyes, a long sigh escaping her. "So what are you all going to do?" 

"Fear not. I have already collected his head and will now search for the wondering body." The Captain said, stepping through the door again to join the other ghosts, cradling Humphrey's head in his arms. 

"I think I saw him in Julian room." Robin pointed, the Captain nodding and beginning to walk in the direction, Pat following to help. 

A quick hour later, a Humphrey with a head, shoulders, knees and toes walked into the common room, where the ghosts and Alison sat. He smiled to himself as everyone greeted him, sitting down, albeit carefully, on the couch next to the fire, next to Alison. 

As the rest of the ghosts fell into comfortable chatter, Humphrey turned his head to Alison, offering her a bigger smile. Alison returned it, she would have hugged him if she could. 

"Thank you," He said quietly. "I think I'm happier than I ever was when I was alive. If I hadn't been here so long, I would say that being a ghost is a blessing." 

"I'm so sorry it took this long, but I hope you can stay happier." Alison beamed. "After all, you're headless, not heartless. You deserve this happiness."


End file.
